


How Much Can You Fit Under Your Skin?

by CaughtAlwaysSleeping



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Also pretty gay, Like 20 pounds of angst, M/M, Robbie is Me™️, and buries and misidentifies all his feelings, but no sin :/, until he can't hold it back anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 06:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8833795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaughtAlwaysSleeping/pseuds/CaughtAlwaysSleeping
Summary: I wrote this in the middle of the night after getting inspired by my own headcanon please take it





	

It started small.

Being unnerved by those actually impossible blue eyes. He figured it was something else, something not important enough to inspect. He cast the thought aside and moved on.

It was ridiculous how many times he had been ushered into a moment where he was in his arms. One second he was denying his need for help the next he was already being cradled, head against his chest. He blamed his furious heart on being scared. Nothing else.

He pretended not to see the looks that stupid blue elf gave him when he was in disguise. It was too kind to do any good if he focused on it, he would convince himself it meant something more than intended.

Things started piling up, slowly. He would brush them off or find some excuse for his heightened anxiety to perform well around him. He always had to be the best, stand up straight, it makes you taller than him. He was starting to notice more good things about him than bad, which was the first clear sign.

He hid for a while after that, still coming out to try and quiet the children, but never following up with any plan if Sportacus came by. He cursed his name while stuffing his face down in his lair. That was so much easier than facing him when everything always went so flusteringly when he came by.

It seems he has more skeletons in his closet than outfits. He pushes them down to make room for the newest, the concern he showed for Robbie. Sportacus was swiftly becoming more and more perfect, despite the flaws of being so active and eating healthy. In fact, it wasn't quite as big a problem as it once seemed. Robbie had never been big on muscles, but they looked so good on that elf. He dares call him a beefcake when by himself.

That's when it all comes rushing forward. Everything all piled together to nag at him and weigh him down. How couldn't he notice earlier?! Now that it was all coming together it was so painfully obvious that he was so deeply intoxicatingly disgustingly in love with that wretched elf. He was so pure and good and kind and everything that Robbie found lacking in himself. His mind played against him and thought they were two puzzle pieces. Robbie felt complete with Sportacus, like everything that he would ever need he would provide and then some. He melts to the cold floor of his lair with the revelation, paralyzed by this sudden desperate need.

That's when his wits find him. What did he have to offer? Nothing. Robbie is just bad news. Villains never get the happily ever after. The villain gets the ending they deserve while the hero always gets the love interest and the happy ending. All he has is bad habits that would disgust Sportacus and too many problems for him to bother with. And! Even if he was willing to deal with all that he has the most feminine hips, and such girlish quirks that it would just be off-putting. Sportacus doesn't need him shrieking in the middle of the night because there's a spider in the sink. He shouldn't have to put up with his whining and crying over the most trivial of things.

He finds himself gripping his hair tightly, hunched over on the floor. This is exactly what he was pointing out. He's so pathetic like this! His breathing is ragged and he feels sick, why would Sportacus ever want someone like him? He can hardly cope with human emotions without having a breakdown.

He jumps at the light touch to his shoulder, shrieks over the gentle sound of his voice. He lands in his chair despite the outstretched arms ready to catch him. He pushes himself into the fluff, looking for comfort. But it's right in front of him in the form of that damn elf crouching in front of him looking concerned. Seeing him only made his sappy feelings stronger, pressing inside of him and growing bigger. He felt like he could explode any second. They keep pushing and pushing at his stubbornly clenched teeth trying to push past them and out into the air that's so thick with Sportacus's concern.

He can hardly hear over the sound of blood rushing in his ears but he picks up something about that stupid crystal going off. Robbie curses it in his mind. "What's wrong Robbie?" He asks.

His thoughts demand out, out, out! And his hands press hard against his mouth to prevent them from slipping out. He'd rather not be able to breathe than let them out. But Sportacus stays with that concerned look, gently brushing stray hairs out of his face. He's so close he can feel his worry coming in waves. And the waves hit him and the tide goes out, dragging, dragging, dragging his hands away. And his thoughts push, push, push to get out. His barriers are degrading by the second before collapsing under the strain.

"You're so good and kind and you're everything that I'm not. I want you- need you- so desperately it hurts, but nothing I do will ever be enough to deserve you because you're so perfect and I'm just a villain. Everything I do is bad and I'm bad and I hate myself for it because I love you so much. Oh my god I love you and it hurts so bad because I'm a mess. You shouldn't have to deal with even my disgusting display of feelings, you shouldn't have to deal with me. I just love you so much, I really, really love you and it's the best and worst feeling in the world-." 

It's then when he finally runs out of breath and pauses to take another when he realizes that somewhere between the start of his rant and now, Sportacus had lifted him and sat him on his lap in the chair, head pressed to his neck with his hand gently petting his hair. He notices he's shaking with the strain of it all, eyes slightly damp. He decides not to go on, and Sportacus gently turns his head and presses a kiss to his quivering lips. This brings his hope soaring and he doesn't bother trying to reign it in because he's so worn out. Instead, he wraps his arms around Sportacus's neck and kisses back, heart pounding. When Sportacus pulls back he smiles.

"I love you too Robbie." He says softly. Robbie is so relieved he could sleep right there in his arms. And when Sportacus presses a gentle kiss to his forehead he does.


End file.
